Just a quickie

I wrote a post the other day. It was raw. It was real. It was very emotional.

But it is not the time to post it. That time will come and I will share that information. But, for now, it’s not the time.

For now, it’s time rest. To try to unwind and plan what is important and what comes next.

It’s time to focus on action and getting things done.

It’s time to become the person that I used to be merged with the person I am now. Because I can’t really go back to the person I used to be (and I don’t really think I’d want to be), but I don’t want to be the person I am now. And I think a merged version where I acknowledge who I used to be and who I actually am now will make me the strongest version of myself.

And I’m not entirely sure what that means for me. But it’s going to be a journey worth joining me on, I promise. So don’t lose faith on me yet. I’m still here. I’m just figuring it out – like everyone else.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone.

Introducing: The Inn Crowd

It’s late and I should be sleeping right now. But things have been hard and I have not blogged as much as I would like and I want to share a few really fun things that are happening right now.

First of all, it’s November! (November 4th, actually, by the time you read this)

And with November comes National Novel Writing Month. I have participated in this for many years now. So far, no novel has come that I have felt worthy enough of publishing, but I am excited about the prospect of the novel I am working on this November.

It is called: The Inn Crowd.

It’s about a girl named Charlotte who inherits an inn from her maternal grandmother.  Did I mention that Charlotte was adopted? And she never met this grandmother? Nor does she have any knowledge of her mother. At all.

I think that it’s going to be a really fun story and I’m really excited about it. It’s definitely going to be a messy first draft and I’m hoping that my story will come through as I didn’t have time to plan like I wanted to.

BUT, despite everything that I have going on, I am making time to write. And I only got about 900 words on my first day, but I am officially ahead (by a little bit) and I am excited about this story.

If you’re participating in NaNoWriMo, let me know! I’d love to hear from you or be writing buddies with you.

***

A few other things.

My long term substitute assignment is rolling along. This week, particularly, I am struggling because I haven’t been getting enough sleep and have not felt motivated to do anything. Plus, I’ve wanted to write. So, it’s going. But that’s all it is. And I’ve made my peace with that. I will do the best I can and nothing more can be expected of me.

I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls (and one of my rewards for staying on track and reaching my word count goals is to watch the new episodes). I’m on season 6 and I have always considered myself fully on Team Logan as far as Rory’s boyfriends go. BUT, I just watched the episode where Jess came back and I may be wavering. We’ll see what happens from here.

I am starting to do yoga again. I have missed it. And doing it the other day just reminded me why I do it. Yoga centers me. And it makes me want to be a better person in the rest of my life. To focus on what makes me feel good and to chase those things and just let the other things roll off, as necessary. I will continue to do yoga and hopefully start a regular practice again in preparation for whatever Adriene has in store for January.

I am contemplating a new/updated 30 before 30 list. Things that I need/want to get done in December and January (when I maybe have a little more time). I love the idea of a 30 before 30, but I can’t make it happen if I don’t make the list and start checking things off.

I am practicing gratitude this month especially. Every day (except, apparently I didn’t do it on Tuesday, November 1), I am posting on Twitter what I’m grateful for. My newsletter this month is going to be all about gratitude. And I created a gratitude journal sheet to jot down what I’m grateful for each day.

Okay, I need to get some sleep. Because in my reality, right now it’s Thursday night at 10:51 PM and I want to wake up and do some yoga before leaving for work at 6:30 AM tomorrow morning. I haven’t gotten any sleep this week anyways, it’ll be fine…right?

Tell me, wonderful people, what is going on with you?

Uh-oh! It’s November already!

It’s November.

That means that there are 2 months left in 2016. Which is crazy. For so many reasons.

This year was not the year that I had hoped it would be. But I am determined to make the most of these last two months.

And November will just be busier than usual as I tackle several projects and attempt to begin staving off holiday stress before it begins.

In November, I will

  • Continue to get at least 10,000 steps daily. This amount may hover much closer to 10,000 as I try to incorporate more yoga into my daily life.
  • Write a novel – you can expect an update on this later this week, since I need to begin writing today!
  • I will begin practicing yoga again. This is something that I want to make more of a priority in my life.
  • I will practice gratitude – more on this later as well. And, despite the cliche, I am excited to bring this practice back into my life.
  • I will continue to survive school. And, at this point, surviving is the best I can hope for as I continue along this journey.

2 months. I probably won’t meet any of my resolutions for the year – although I’ll look at these in December. I won’t have completed hardly any of my 30 before 30 list (although maybe I’ll make a new one to make happen in December/January).

But only 2 months left. And then, we can start anew again. Of course, any day is a good day to start anew if necessary. And I will do the best that I can to start each day new so that I am capable of finding joy in all parts of life.

Because that’s what life is all about.

Staying Motivated

If you aren’t a part of my joy newsletter or you don’t know me personally, you wouldn’t know that I am having a hard time staying motivated right now.

Here are the problems:

  • I feel as if I didn’t get as much guidance as I needed to at my new job (and maybe this is me being spoiled, but in the teaching field, I feel as if guidance is more important than other fields because you can’t redo a class period)
  • I am tired from trying to stay on top of things and getting less sleep than I probably should
  • I feel as if I haven’t had any time for any of my “fun” things: biking, reading, watching TV, yoga, etc.

So, here are some solutions:

  • Make time for the things that I know I have to do: sleep, eat, prepare for the next day at school
  • Make time for fun things: walking, watching TV, etc.

So, this basically comes down to time management. I need to choose the things that are most important to me (and it’s possible that my job could fall from that position at times) and be sure that I have enough time to complete those things.

The worst part about this for me – right now – is that it means that the extras (planning my NaNovel, eating well and exercising more often, watching TV that I want to watch and follow, writing posts here and other places) have suffered.

There have been times when I haven’t gotten any posts written here at the blog.

I haven’t been eating great at all.

I haven’t planned my NaNovel in the least – and I really need to get to planning this because it’s really important that I do well with this.

I haven’t finished watching Gilmore Girls (which I wanted to get done before November got here because I need to focus on my novel in November and then be able to binge Gilmore Girls later).

The other things that is making this hard is that it is very easy to forget how hard it is to create engaging lessons when you are also trying to learn the content because you’ve never taught it before.

I am doing the best that I can. I have managed to keep my step count up – although not as high as it was before all of this. I am managing to continue teaching the classes I am in charge of – although it is a real struggle. And I have managed to still do things that are fun, things that are important to me.

And, when this position is over, I can manage to do other things that are important to me. And it will be fine. Because it has to be. It just has to get better than this.

And, despite the rambling nature of this post, taking the time to reflect on what is going on is important to me and I will keep working as much as I can.

How is your life motivation going?

Tricky Business

This life thing is pretty tricky business, isn’t it? We all have goals. We all have things we want to achieve. We all want to be a success. And, the truth is, success looks differently for everyone. For some people, it means they have a job that pays the bills (even if it isn’t something they love) and they have good relationships with people that they love. For some people, it means they have a job they are passionate about and can’t wait to go to every day – that they have good relationships are an added bonus. For others, it means they are surviving.

For me, right now, it just means I’m surviving.

It’s been a long week. There has been personal stuff that has been happening and making things harder than they should be. This is my fault. Overthinking is a favorite pastime of mine and it isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Additionally, I accepted a job as a long term substitute. While I am happy about the opportunity to be working every day, in a classroom that will temporarily be mine, and broadening my horizons, it hasn’t been great. In fact, it hasn’t even been good. I have jumped into a classroom that had rules and objectives and routines in place and that I am unaware of. I have been placed in the middle of a book where I don’t know what has been talked about or how notes have been given.

It’s stressful enough to be a new teacher (either in age or location), despite how many years of you’ve worked teaching in a different place. But, even more stressful, is trying to maintain continuity for the kids when you are not aware of how things work and you don’t have access to things you need, like the gradebook and class information.

So, I apologize that I didn’t write last week. I think (I hope!) that this week will be better. We’ll see how it all goes, but I will write more this week.

How is your week going? Are you feeling successful?

Being Mindful

Mindfulness means so many things to so many different people, but for me – especially right now – mindfulness means that I am focusing on what I need to do and what I don’t need to do. This has especially come to light with all of the things that I have/want to accomplish/complete in my life (and feeling so very far behind). Also, by this post.

Because right now, I’m trying to do too much. And I’ve been trying to do too much for too long. And this has led me to doing nothing. (Do you hear me people?!?) Doing too much – or trying to do too much – can lead to you doing nothing at all. As it has led me to do.

I have so many dreams and so many things that can happen if I put in the effort, but I have to be careful about not taking on too much. Because if I try to write a book, take on a full time job, move into a new apartment, start a business, begin a challenge website, and still live, it will be too much. Way. Too. Much.

So, I need to be mindful of choosing what will be best for me right now. And shelving things that can be shelved. Because there are just not enough hours in the day to watch all the TV shows I want to watch, read a book a week, write a novel, plan a challenge, work out, etc. There just isn’t enough time. And that is okay.

So, this month, in my joy newsletter, I am focusing on mindfulness. I am going to be a little not-humble right now and tell you that I am so proud that I started this newsletter and I have kept it going for 10 weeks. If you would like a weekly dose of joy in your inbox (including challenges and tips to find joy in your every day life!), please click here and sign up!

What do you need to shelve for right now? How is your balance? If it isn’t great, don’t worry; you have lots of time to fix it!

A Blog/Life Update

So, this blog is important to me. It has been with me through a lot and it is something that I want to nurture and continue to grow – a readership and with things that I want to make sure that I do and with me. However, I’m having a hard time seeing a vision for it right now. So, for the remainder of the year, I am going to do my best to update at least once a week – possibly more – about my life and what I am doing and how I am making progress towards my goals.

Basically, my new years resolutions broke down. It’s been a rough year for me. But I’m making progress now – at least I feel like I am. And I am doing things that I love and I want to continue to do things that I love.

That being said, I am going to set myself 3 goals to reach by the end of the year in each of the main areas of my life: personal, professional, and health/wellness.

Personal:
1. Move out of my dad’s house and into an apartment of my own (or create a rental agreement with him).
2. Focus on building my relationships with my friends and myself and focus on the good in life rather than the negative.
3. Begin taking photos and posting them on my Instagram

Professional:
1. Write a completed novel (and possibly edit it). [This is part of my biggest goal that I want to write, edit, and self-publish a novel before I turn 30 in January]
2. Continue subbing while I look for and find a full time job/work. [This may include subbing if I get part time that would supplement my subbing]
3. Create and launch 52 week contact challenge in conjunction with my email list about finding joy in every day life.

Health/Wellness:
1. Lose weight. I am not ready to put a number on this right now. But I know that once I become more serious about it, I will make it happen and get it done.
2. Eat more well rounded meals while still treating myself.
3. Begin doing yoga again. This will be a part of my workout plan where I actually work out (as opposed to just walking) at least 5 times a week.

These are my goals and things that I hope to accomplish and make happen. The thing that I need to hone most is my ability to focus on something for professional reasons. Basically, I need to be able to make money. And in order to make money, I need to find a full time job or I need to find a way to make passive income. And I have some ideas to make that happen.

Thanks for listening to me ramble today. Life is a winding road and it doesn’t seem like it is going to get any easier any time soon. But that’s okay.

How is your life looking? Do you need to check in on your goals? Are you doing well?