The Troubles of Now

I have issues with transitions.

When I went away to college, I called my mom and cried for probably an hour – about having to wear shoes in the shower.  Of course, the issues were deeper than that and I have not ever been good with transitions (even if they are by choice, which college was).  Side note: I ended up loving college and hope to go up and visit this summer.

Which leads me to the present (that was just some background).  This summer.

For seven years, I have been a substitute teacher.  I have worked hard during the year and I have applied for full time jobs and I have pushed as much as I can.  I haven’t gotten jobs.  Either way, I didn’t work most summers – I just survived on very little money (and thanks to my mom for letting me live mostly rent free and just helping out with expenses for this to be possible).

I have decided that it’s time to move on from teaching (at least for now – although I don’t think that I will go back).  I’m not sure exactly what is next for me.  I know that I have a lot of things that I want to do, but I need to pick something to focus on – and hopefully find a job that will pay the bills until then.

Which leads me to this summer.  My wonderful friend convinced me that I should come live with her/her parents (the summer is one of intense flux).  I said yes.  And, for the summer at least, I am working at a cidery.  I work as a waitress/bartender.  Something different from teaching, but not that much.  It has been hard – for many reasons – but I am doing okay with the job.

I’d like to share two stories from this weekend (as I am mostly working weekends).

Friday night there was a woman that was in.  The other person working with me knew them and waited on them mostly.  She started talking to me and asked what I did during the week (it hasn’t been much lately, although that has started to change).  She asked what I did other than this job.  She asked about teaching.  She asked what else I might want to do.  She asked hard questions.  Questions I wasn’t prepared to tackle in this work environment.

Then, she ranted about teaching and colleges that are bringing on so many teacher candidates even though there aren’t jobs.  The truth is there are jobs, but a lot of the available jobs are extremely undesirable.

Then (the real kicker), she basically told me that my only viable option left was to find a man and start having babies.  (This was after finding out my age)

That comment tore me apart.  Tore me apart.  And it’s still eating away at me a little bit, but I’m trying not to let it bother me.

On the other end of the spectrum.  Sunday afternoon, an older couple came in.  It was clear that they had been together for a while and they were really sweet.  They were polite to me, introduced themselves and chatted with me and each other.  At one point, one of them said to the other: “It’s been a really good day.”  The other smiled at them and said: “It really has.”  Or something like that.

It made my heart smile.  It made me smile.  And it just brought some levity to me.  Because in a world that can seem pretty terrible right now, there are still people that love each other and are devoted to each other.  And that is something really wonderful.

I wanted to share these two stories from my summer job.  More blogs to come this week, friends.  Thank you for reading.  xoxo

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