I have never been a good decision maker. I put things off and put things off and put things off.
I think there are a few reasons that I am like this.
One, I think I’m a fairly easy going person. I would be just as happy going for pizza as going for a burger as going to get a salad (on any given day – and if I have an opinion, I will voice it). And, usually, I can find something to eat regardless of where I go. I might be picky, but I’m not picky in an obscure way. And I would rather people be having a good time because then I will have a better time.
Second, I don’t want to limit my options. As soon as you make a decision – for me, anyways – choices go away. I’ve made the decision to have a hamburger, so I can’t get the salad. I’ve made the decision to read this book, so I can’t read that book. I’ve made the decision to do yoga today, so I don’t have time for a bike ride. Etc. I don’t want to limit my options unnecessarily. I want to keep my options open.
(Side note: I know that once I’m done with that, I can always change my mind, but I don’t like to inconvenience myself or others so I would stick with my decision for as long as I can)
Finally, I don’t want to make the wrong choice. This is probably the biggest one for me. As a people-pleaser, it can be hard to realize that there aren’t wrong choices. But if often feels that way – even though I have told people that there isn’t a wrong choice. For me, this can paralyze me at times.
And, obviously, I know that no decision is permanent. I know that I am able to change my mind or do something different if I want to. And I know that’s not the end of the world. BUT, it still paralyzes me.
I have been making some big decisions lately. And it’s sent me into a tizzy of an emotional roller coaster. And it sucks.
Because I don’t want to make the wrong choice. Or make a choice just for the sake of making a point. Or make a choice based on things that aren’t going to be good for me.
It’s a lot to think about. It’s a lot to take in. It’s just a lot. So we’ll see how it all goes. And, decisions will be made because they have to be made. That’s just the way life goes.
Are you “good” at making decisions? What is one of the biggest decisions you’ve ever had to make? Do you regret any decisions that you’ve made?