Leap Day Longings

Today is February 29th.  A special day.  A day that only comes around every 4 years.  A day that I kind of love.

I have always kind of idealized this day.  I think of it as a day that holds such potential and possibility – an extra 24 hours that we don’t get all the time.  An extra day to accomplish something that we have always wanted to accomplish.

This leap day, I am going to take stock in a few things.  I am going to look at some of my goals – both my new year’s resolutions and my 30 before 30 list and make concrete dates/action lists for each.  I am going to update my resume so that I can start applying for jobs.  I am going to find a list of jobs to apply for: here, in Rochester, and in Pittsburgh – or possibly others that might show up when I search.

I am going to try not to be sad.

Because for the past little while, I’ve been very sad – inexplicably so.  I just have felt down.  There have been brief moments of levity, where I almost feel happy; glimpses of hope, where I can sort of see through to the other side; small glimmerings of light, where the dark doesn’t seem quite as lonely.

But…I’ve still been sad.

It’s like the opposite of rose-colored glasses.

And the joy I’m getting is not from good things.

I’m getting joy from eating junk food, which is causing me to hate the way I look and so much more about myself than usual.

I’m getting joy from watching mindless television, which is causing me to be more sedentary than I want to be.

I’m getting joy from sitting around and doing nothing, which is not leading me to reach my goals.

I have to change this.

And, today – a day that only comes around every 4 years and marks the end of 2 months of a new year and over a month from my birthday – is as good a day as any to make some changes.  To start achieving my goals.  To be better.

For myself.

For others.

What do you plan to do with your leap day?  Do you connect with any of my insights?  Have any advice for me?


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