On Sunday, I turned 29.
By most standards, this is not very old.
But, of course, it is the oldest I have ever been. And the oldest that many of my friends have ever been. And it is a number that, as I told a friend (when she asked how it felt to be 29), is very close to 30. And 30 is a benchmark number for many, many people.
The thing is: we all have to grow old.
It is a fact of life. We have to grow old and we can’t stop this process from happening. It just is. And growing older is something that brings many insecurities with it.
Am I where I am supposed to be?
Am I happy enough?
Am I taking good enough care of myself?
Am I spending time with the people that mean the most to me?
How much longer do I have?
Will I be able to do the things I’ve always dreamed of doing?
Where am I going to go from here?
At 29, I am not where I thought I would be. And I have a feeling that this year is going to be a huge year of transitions for me. I am hoping that this year of transitions brings me to a place of more peace and stillness than I have had in a long time. And I hope that this year brings me to a place where 30 doesn’t scare me any more.
A while back, I wrote a 30 before 30 list. Over the next week, I will be revising and editing this list to make it a list that I can actually accomplish before I turn 30 and that will show more of what is important to me now – rather than when I was 25.
Growing up is optional, but growing old is just a fact of life. But it isn’t a fact that has to scare us or send us running for the hills. Instead it should be a fact that we embrace and celebrate.
So here’s to another year of life – the best year yet.