When I was little, I was really little – like people joked that I was half a person (the context of the joke actually wasn’t meant to be rude or anything like that), but it was who I was. Or a part of who I was.
In high school, I started to gain some weight, but I still didn’t feel huge by any means. In college, I lost weight and then I gained weight and then I gained some more weight. I lost some weight, I gained some more. My yo-yo weight loss/weight gain began.
A few years ago, I felt huge. I felt unhealthy. I wanted to get healthy. So, I committed myself to it. I got an elliptical off of Craigslist and I would use it for 45 minutes to (up to) 2 hours on any given day. I did some gentle yoga. I tracked what I ate and did my best to use portion control – so I only ate one serving of gold fish or crackers or the like instead of eating as many as I wanted. I wasn’t perfect, but I was working hard.
And it worked. I lost the weight. I felt really good about myself. I was, by no means, tiny. I wouldn’t even have considered myself small. But I was happy with where I was. I didn’t feel like I was carrying around a huge weight on my back (or in my belly or anywhere else). I had done a good job.
Since 2012, when I lost that weight, I have steadily been gaining weight again. I have gained over 30 pounds from when I stopped (and that was still 5 pounds from my goal weight).
It is time to journey back to healthy – and in a lifestyle change kind of way.
In the middle of February I started a 30 days of Yoga challenge with Adriene. The series is on YouTube and I love it. It is putting me back into yoga in a gentle way. When I was losing the weight I lost in 2012, I loved doing yoga. I could see myself get more flexible with an almost daily practice (at home) and it made me feel good about myself (even when I was at my heavy weight then).
I completed day 13 of the 30 day challenge this morning, and I do feel good about myself. I am not nearly as flexible as I once was and that can be discouraging, but I have gotten more flexible in the last 13 days and I know that if I want to lose weight and then keep it off, I need to make sure that yoga is a staple for me.
This past summer, I (with the help of my dad) bought a bicycle. I hadn’t ridden a bike in a very long time, but I am excited for the weather to get warm again so that I can hopefully start riding outside. It is great cardio and I am grateful that I had the money (and assistance) to make this happen. It will probably be my main form of cardio (and I’m going to get some inside rides done – thanks to my brother’s trainer) this go round.
I need to get healthy again. I’m not healthy. I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t feel happy with myself, and I’m constantly tired. I know that losing this excess weight will help me. And I hope that with the weight I shed, I also shed a lot of the metaphorical weight that I have been dragging around and find a way to be happier and healthier.
I know that I can do this. I have done it before. I did not use any special program: I just tracked my exercise, my food, my mood. And I lost the weight. I can do this again – and I will, even if it’s harder this time than it was last time.
I am very focused and it is a priority for me over the next few months (and then some).
Do you have any advice for me? Do you suffer from this yoyo weight loss/gain cycle that many people suffer from? Words of encouragement? Share your story if you find movement and that it makes you feel good.