A New Year

It’s a new year.  I’m not entirely sure why we find the new year a time to look back and look forward.  I’m not entirely sure why we feel the need to start fresh during this time – maybe (for those of us in the north) it’s a way for us to see hope in the dead of winter when the temperatures are as cold as ever and the weather can be more fickle than our personalities; maybe it’s because a new number is popping up.

I find that I look forward and back two or three times during the year.  I do it during this time when a lot of people are doing it.  I do it when a new school year begins (although maybe that will be changing).  And I usually do it during my birthday (which is very close to this time).

Looking back now, I realize that when I started this blog, I started it because I was hoping to go off on an adventure.  I started it because I thought that it was possible that I could be moving to Seattle to begin a stint with CityYear.  I wasn’t accepted.  I kept the blog up – at least at times.

Looking forward, I don’t know that this blog is the best platform for me any longer – it might be time to start a new blog, a new way to express myself, a better understanding of who I am.  Of course, the sentiment of this blog – learning to dance in the rain – has not changed and is still not a lesson that I have learned.

So, maybe, in order to move forward I need to look back and figure out the lessons that I so desperately missed the first time through and find a way to learn them now so that I can be a better me.  I don’t want to change who I am – I am firmly of the opinion that who you are is who you are and that won’t ever change, just manifest itself in different ways – I just want to be the best version of me.  And I haven’t been that in a long time.

So, here’s to a new year of new adventures.  Here’s to a year of finding myself and putting myself out there more (both here on this blog and in the real world.  Here’s to a year of growth and find who I really am.


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