It’s a new year. I’m not entirely sure why we find the new year a time to look back and look forward. I’m not entirely sure why we feel the need to start fresh during this time – maybe (for those of us in the north) it’s a way for us to see hope in the dead of winter when the temperatures are as cold as ever and the weather can be more fickle than our personalities; maybe it’s because a new number is popping up.
I find that I look forward and back two or three times during the year. I do it during this time when a lot of people are doing it. I do it when a new school year begins (although maybe that will be changing). And I usually do it during my birthday (which is very close to this time).
Looking back now, I realize that when I started this blog, I started it because I was hoping to go off on an adventure. I started it because I thought that it was possible that I could be moving to Seattle to begin a stint with CityYear. I wasn’t accepted. I kept the blog up – at least at times.
Looking forward, I don’t know that this blog is the best platform for me any longer – it might be time to start a new blog, a new way to express myself, a better understanding of who I am. Of course, the sentiment of this blog – learning to dance in the rain – has not changed and is still not a lesson that I have learned.
So, maybe, in order to move forward I need to look back and figure out the lessons that I so desperately missed the first time through and find a way to learn them now so that I can be a better me. I don’t want to change who I am – I am firmly of the opinion that who you are is who you are and that won’t ever change, just manifest itself in different ways – I just want to be the best version of me. And I haven’t been that in a long time.
So, here’s to a new year of new adventures. Here’s to a year of finding myself and putting myself out there more (both here on this blog and in the real world. Here’s to a year of growth and find who I really am.