Parallel

I can’t comment entirely on the book, because I am not done reading it.  I’m actually only about halfway through it.  But the concept behind it and the things that it has me thinking about are enough that I really want to talk about it.

I don’t know how many of you have heard of the book Parallel by Lauren Miller.  It just came out last week and I started reading it this week while my students were writing their essays (to be fair, I spent a lot of time grading outside of class…so I had some extra time on my hands.  I’m sure I could have spent this time doing research for jobs or English or grad school or anything).  But I am so intrigued by the concepts in this book.  And I can’t wait to see how it ends up.

The book is about alternate/parallel universes and realities.  And what would happen if they collided.

I mean, the book is about so much more.  But this is a main centerpiece of the book.  And it has me asking myself (and the world) all sorts of questions.

Do we have a say over what happens to us?

Is there a separate us in a different world?  Someone that is living our life under different circumstances?

Can two parallel universes collide and change things that should have been?

Which leads me to wonder about my life.

Am I living a life that wasn’t meant for me because in a parallel universe I did something that changed what I really wanted?

Do I have any real say in what goes on in my future?

Am I making the right choices?

I have been in a state of constant flux since I left college.  On one hand, I have regressed because I am back home and often don’t have money to do things that I want to do.  I don’t have a full time job (half the time) and it’s extremely hard for me.  I have gone through many jobs and I have been a substitute in more than my fair share of classrooms – classrooms that I would have seen myself in and classrooms that I could never see myself in.  I have stretched my limits and I have done things that I never would have believed possible.  I have definitely been a bit of a workaholic.

And this past year, as I have said before, has been especially hard.  Tonight, I voted on the school budget.  A budget that I hope passes because the school year was ridiculously hard this year.  It was hard for me because it was my first year.  But it was also hard for me because it was hard for the other teachers.  There are a lot of new mandates that are happening and that need to be put into place.  There are changes that are happening that are extreme and not necessarily for the best of the students.  And if the budget doesn’t pass, next year will be even worse that it is already going to be.

So, my hope is that the budget passes.

And that I figure out if this reality is where I am supposed to be or if I am supposed to be in a different reality.

Because this reality is hard.  And I don’t necessarily want easy.  I just want something that isn’t impossible.  Something that will let me feel good about myself while still growing every day.  And still feeling pride in myself and able to take on more than I have been able to this year.

It’s a tall order.  But my alternate reality can give me some insight and an answer that I need.

I don’t pretend to really understand this alternate reality stuff (which is probably, at least partially, why I am rambling a little bit).  But it is interesting and I can’t wait to finish the book and review it.

How do you feel about alternate realities?  Are you where you want to be in your life?  Do you think that someone else makes decisions for you?

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