My life is a disaster. In a semi-good way.
Professionally, I can’t figure anything out. I’m not sure what I want and so I’m stalling like it is nobody’s business. This summer, I am planning on doing a few online classes (that have nothing to do with teaching at all) and writing – as much as possible. I want to read and go to concerts and just enrich myself. And I think that will be great for me.
The end of the school year is getting to be pretty stressful. I feel like I’m constantly behind on my work and I know that it won’t get any better before the end of the year. But I also know that when this is done, I’m going to be bummed that I don’t have anything to do.
Personally, there are so many of my areas that I want to improve, but it’s so hard. I want to start dating, but I am scared. And I know that isn’t an excuse, but it is the truth. It doesn’t help that the person I was interested in is stalling (which could mean he doesn’t like me, but I don’t know).
My family isn’t doing badly, but I am having a hard time not comparing myself to my brother (the twin, not the others) or my sister. My brother got married at the end of August last year and as different as our lives are, it’s hard not to compare myself to him. And my sister is getting married in September of this year. And it’s hard to see my younger sister getting married before me (even though I am happy for her).
And I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to other people, but I can’t help it.
Fitness-wise, I have both good news and bad news. I am going to run my first half marathon this Sunday. I’m pretty excited about it and I’m starting to get really nervous. I have a time goal that I’m afraid I won’t meet. And again, I know that I shouldn’t pressure myself too much because it’s my first long race like this. I have run one two other 5Ks and I ran in middle school when I was participating in modified cross country. I am toying with training for and running a full marathon in a more relaxed way (if that’s even possible for me).
But, I’m not doing so great on my eating. I’m not eating very healthy and I can definitely (and will definitely) work on that. I’m also not doing great on weight training or yoga (which I’m going to focus on more once I finish my half marathon). I’m excited to get back to those and tone up – and hopefully lose weight and inches when I combine it with better eating.
So, there is a lot of room for improvement. But I’m doing okay. And at 26, I have time to figure things out a little bit more. I can still change my mind and figure it all out. I love parts of my life, but I think I need to come to terms with some things – like how I need time to recharge and when you don’t spend a lot of time with someone, you can’t recharge with them. And I’m independent enough that I need to have my own time and space as well.
It will all work out. I am still confident and optimistic of that. Someday soon, the world will agree with me.