I almost didn’t write this entry – and I’m trying really hard – as you know – to be more disciplined in doing this. The reason I almost didn’t write it has everything to do with my bad choices and not doing what I should. See, I wanted to be in bed at 9. It’s 10:05 and I am just starting my blog entry. The one about how much I love my students. And how there are good things about my job as a teacher, not just bad things. The silver lining, if you will.
So, I want to start with what is personally good for me because that’s what is really exciting me right now. My 10th graders aren’t so much interesting me personally – well, their material isn’t. It’s my 12th grade creative writing class that is making me excited. See, when they write, I try to participate because then I can give them pointers and let them know what I’m thinking and how I feel about it. And honestly, that’s great for me because I have been super successful. I have thought of two really great story ideas that I would like to develop further and actually write (I also may commit to both April and July Camp NaNoWriMo…but more on that another day). I have written some poetry again, which I haven’t done in ages. And I have just gotten my writing exercises started again. And that makes me thrilled beyond no other. Because I think that what I’d like to tackle this summer is to write/publish (although I’m sure it will be self published, if I’m brave enough) a book. With all of the ideas I have, I know that I will be able to then do something else for the real NaNoWriMo. Because I have two great ideas that I really want to write (but still need to develop more) and then I have other ideas floating around that are pretty great that just need way more development. And that’s exciting. I even titled my memoir (or at least the one that I want to play out so that I can write it). It’s entitled: The Quest to Lose, so I Could Find Myself: A Memoir.
So, on the student side of things. Things that make me smile:
When a student wants to come into my room as opposed to a different room – even if it is just because they want to get away from the teacher that they would be with otherwise.
When I see a student really get something and I can actually see the light bulb moment in their faces.
When a student understands why I am upset and how hard my job is – when they commiserate with me (even when they then follow it with how I should stop giving them so much work).
When a student acknowledges me as a great teacher.
When a student is willing to challenge me in a good way – not in a bad way.
When a student says what I am thinking – because even though I shouldn’t/can’t agree with them, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one thinking it.
And I think the best part of my job is the colleagues. I have gotten to know so many wonderful people that I knew in different capacities and it has made me feel like such a grown up.
I guess my heart wasn’t really in this post. I just have too much going on in my head and I should be sleeping.
I’m not editing this. I’m not doing anything with it because I have to think more about this quest to lose – things I’ve already lost, things I want to lose and how that has/will help me find myself. And what it means in my journey to be a teacher.
I have nothing else to say right now. Besides that I need sleep and maybe I should have gotten this (and other things) done earlier. Oh, well. School is going to come early tomorrow.
[sidenote] this post was written wednesday night. and in a week that has seemed incredibly long, it doesn’t feel like a wednesday night. as much as I am enjoying some things right now, I feel like my life is a disaster, but oddly enough I feel it in a good way right now – which might prove how much of a disaster it is.