It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say: best birthday ever. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my birthdays…because I do. It’s just different from when you’re a kid. There is no more celebrating with extreme and fun birthday parties. There tend to not be as many exciting presents (although when you buy everything that you want, you can’t expect exciting presents).
I’d say it’s been 5 years since I have really planned a fun and exciting birthday party that revolved around me. I turned 21 that year. (Yes, that means that I am turning 26). Now, I have had some great years since then. I had friends that were not at school anymore show up for my 22nd birthday (with some really great painted mugs and wine glasses). I had friends come to visit me for my 23rd birthday. I had a 24th birthday that involved hockey and a great movie. (I may have even mixed up 23 and 24) All fantastic. But things have gone downhill – not in a bad way, just in a less exciting way.
And it’s partially my fault. I have drifted from people that could be close to me. People that are close locationally. And I have yearned to be closer to people that aren’t locationally close. And I haven’t put myself out there.
But this year, this 26th year of my life – where I am closer to 30 than I am to 20 – I am making myself a vow. I will make things happen. To the best of my ability and to be the person that I want to be, I will make things happen that I want.
I almost feel selfish writing this. Because it’s hard to think about the great things in my life and realize that there are still so many things I want and so many things that I still have left to do.
I do not have a bad life. I really don’t. I have a pretty good life. It’s just a hard life right now and not where I thought I would be.
So, my vow for this year: make things happen. I want to go out on some dates? Make it happen, ask people out. I want to go to a concert? Buy a ticket and make it happen! I want to visit a friend? Buy the plane ticket and make it happen! I want to call a friend up? Stop procrastinating and make it happen!
26. It’s crazy to think that I am already there – so crazy. I will have more thoughts on that tomorrow – about 26 and where I am and where I thought I’d be. And how it’s all so different than what I thought it would be.