Boys and That First Date

I’ve admitted before that I’m not very good at dating. It doesn’t come naturally to me (does it come naturally to anyone? Can someone please give me some pointers?). But there has been a possibility for a first date. For a while now. And why is it that I can’t seem to make it happen?

I mean, boys can just be so frustrating. And in the best possible way. And the most frustrating way.

Which is why I don’t date. Because I overthink things and I don’t talk to anyone about this. I’m debating posting this entry because no one really knows. And I don’t know who reads this or what it might mean to people that read it.

See, part of what I wanted to do this year was to put myself out there. I wanted to put myself out there and really make it count. And I sort of have. And things get really frustrating. And, like I said before – frustrating in the best possible way. Because boys are stupid sometimes.

And I am definitely stupid sometimes.

And sometimes, being sick gets in the way.

See, this weekend I got really sick. I run a pretty low temperature normally – like, I am usually low 97 sometimes even high 96s. I pretty rarely go into the 98s, almost never to the “average” 98.6. So on Saturday I went from somewhere in the 97s at one point to a high of 101.5. Pretty intense. And it wiped me out. Bad. I had plans to run, to run errands, to meet with friends and, yes, to meet with a certain someone else (well, sort of). But do you want to know what I did? I laid in bed. All day long. I got out of bed to do laundry, that I didn’t even finish until Sunday.

Sunday I was getting better, but wasn’t great. Monday I was feeling much better and I went out for a short run/walk and in the evening I was back to 100% (well, at least it felt that way). So, tomorrow, I’m moving forward.

Because, in all honesty, there is no reason for me to be frustrated. I should make my move. I should make it happen. School and work are not everything. And if I think that having this relationship – or really putting myself out there is going to help – it might be time to ante up and make the move…even if I want to be a traditionalist and have the guy make the move.

On that note, boys, I have something to say to you. If the girl is texting you. If she’s saying she wants to see you. She’s giving you the green light. Invite her to a movie – any movie, and she’ll say yes. Invite her to lunch or dinner and she’ll say yes. Invite her to hang out and she’ll say yes. She wants to see you as much as she says. Sometimes you just have to make the move and put it into motion.

I’m extremely weary about posting this. Extremely weary. But, as I’ve said in this post, I want to put myself out there. And part of putting myself out there is to write my truth and how I’m feeling. Even if it is a little premature and doesn’t even make sense to me, let alone to anyone that is reading this. So, I hope this doesn’t seem forlorn or that I’m upset in any way. Because I’m not really. I’m just frustrated, which is the best way to describe my feelings toward a lot of things right now – which I’m sure leads to more frustration with this particular situation.

Thoughts? Advice? Commiserations?


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