I am writing this now, although I already wrote a blog entry that I was going to post, at 12:30 in the morning – although I should be asleep – because I want to get my thoughts down and out. I want someone to be able to read. To be able to feel what I am feeling. Or at least acknowledge that they understand how I am feeling and that my feelings are valid.
I went out tonight, after a mishap that you will hear about later this week sometime. It was a school night and I knew that it would be a late night (and that I’m not nearly prepared enough for school tomorrow – today, technically), but I decided I was going to go anyway. And I am immensely glad that I did.
A friend of mine from high school texted me a week ago and asked what I was doing tonight. I told him it was a school night so I was probably going to bed earlyish so that I was ready for the day. He invited me to go to Transiberian Orchestra with him. And I thought about it. And I almost said now. But then I decided that I wanted to go and so I did.
And I’m so glad. Because it was not only him, but two other old friends (one that I want to see more of and one that I hadn’t seen in far too long) and the sister of a friend who is a friend of the friends, but that I don’t know all too well. Either way, it was a great time. A drive that I wouldn’t have chosen if I could have made the choice (who is going to invent a way for me to teleport sooner rather than later??), but that was good to be able to catch up – especially on the way down.
On the way home, I was thinking – which is never a good thing when you should already be asleep. I had a great time with these friends, and I’d love to see more of them, but they don’t always ask me to hang out. And I wish they’d ask me more. But I don’t do a lot, so I can’t ask them if they want to hang out with me either. It’s a catch-22. So, I hope that they do ask me to hang out more because I really do enjoy hanging out with them.
It also made me miss Niagara – which has been happening a lot lately. It made me miss the times we crammed people into cars to go someplace (we had a full carload to go to TSO tonight). It made me miss the friendships that were so easy to have (these friendships used to be easier too). And it made me miss the guys that I used to hang out with (because as girly as I can be, I love to hang out with the boys). And it made me a little bit sad. And a little bit angry because I shouldn’t be wishing for all of that when I have things that are more than wonderful.
Now, I know this is probably disjointed and out there, but I need to get to sleep because – as I said – I have school tomorrow and I need to teach these kids something and I am definitely not prepared for it.
Have a great Monday everyone!