Taking A Break

I have so many ideas cluttering my head.  I have so many things that I’d like to get out on paper.  I have so many concepts that I want to explore deeper. 

And I feel like I have so many restraints that are coming to me.

I want to write.  I desperately want to try and write something that is meaningful.  I want people to want to read my words.  And to then pass them on to someone else that would find them meaningful.  I want them to live outside of me and to make something make sense to someone.

But in order for any of this to happen, I have to write (and I do).

And after writing, I have to edit (which I don’t do very well).

Then, after editing, I have to share (and I really don’t do this well).

Because when I put those words out there, I want them to mean something.  And if they don’t, I have failed in a way.  I have failed myself.  I have failed the people that might have been expecting more from me.  I have failed.

And I don’t like to fail.  And I don’t like rejection.  And the whole things is hard and I don’t like to think about it.

So, I might take a break.  I’ll post again tomorrow.  And I will post my pictures once a week.  But  I might take a break from this forum to spend time on other forms of writing.  On my NaNoWriMo project that I have abandoned at almost near-completion (but not edited at all).  At the ideas that are bouncing around in my head.  At other ways that I can be happy.

We will see.  I need to strike a new balance.  I’m just not sure what it is yet.

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