I can be extremely closed off. I have written about things on this blog that I would never say to anyone. But the question that haunts me (and I think it will probably always haunt me): How much do I give?
I mean, really, how much should I tell you about myself? How much am I supposed to reveal? Who do I take care of? Who do I guard? What can I talk about? What can’t I talk about? Is anything off limits? Are there any boundaries?
I know that these are questions that we all deal with all the time. In our “real” lives. As well as our “non-real” lives. And I’ve seen people deal with it in different ways.
Some have used nicknames or numbers or letters to signify people they always talk about. Some don’t talk about themselves at all. Some pick and choose what they will reveal.
I bring this all to you because I struggle with so much. Things that I’m not sure I want to reveal: a family that is no where near perfect and that I struggle to be a part of a lot of days lately (but still love fiercely 99% of the time). If I reveal this information (which would mostly be complaints probably), does that demean the fact that I love them so much? A friendship that fell apart and was sort of being put back together, but will never be the same. Friendships that I feel I have neglected despite being enamored with them and not wanting to lose them. A past that no one knows about (or at least no one knows what I know about it).
I write for me. I write because I love it and I’d like to hone my craft. But, I’m quickly realizing, when I put these words out, I expect they are being read (even if no one replies and answers…I myself am a lurker most of the time). And I don’t know who is reading these and I don’t want to upset anyone. But is that my business. Should I care? (I will never stop caring).
I am curiuos about all of this because I received a piece of mail that has gotten me thinking. Maybe I’ll write about it later this week. We’ll see. Tomorrow, a post on lurking and reading and replying and social obligations when blogging. Stay tuned!!
How much of yourself do you put into your blog? Are you extremely personal, holding nothing back or do you censor yourself? What is your writing process like with your blog?