Happy Birthday, Beautiful!

Today is my birthday.  That’s right.  I name my blog post “Happy Birthday, Beautiful!” because I wanted to.  I’ve had a lot of time to think this morning because my body (and I think that my brother as well) decided that I should wake up at 3:45 this morning.  Not what I wanted.  But it meant that I got in a work out…which I had planned on skipping because I was going to sleep in.  The rest of my day is going to go as follows: I am going to finish up here at Starbucks.  I am going to go and buy Tim McGraw’s new CD…because I want it and because I can…even though it might not be a great idea.  Then, I’m going to lunch with my brother once I pick him up from school (since he doesn’t have classes this afternoon).  Then, I’m going to relax.  Maybe he and I will go and do some walking around/window shopping.  Then, I’m going to relax a little bit.  Then, I’m going to dinner with my dad.  It should be a relaxing, fun day.  But since I’ve had so much time to think, I’ve decided to write little letters, to both my past self and my future self.

Dear 10 year old self,
You won’t always be this innocent.  Times will get hard and things will seem like they aren’t going to work out in the future.  Enjoy this!  Be carefree.  Have so much fun with your brothers and sister (while they are still fun and they are still close by).  Stay naive for a little bit longer and enjoy your childhood.
Love, Your Future Self

Dear 18 year old self,
Trust yourself a little bit more.  You went with your gut and you knew that it would work out.  Sure, it’ll be hard.  You’re not going to always love being up so far north and so far away from everyone you  love and have come to know.  But relax.  Have some fun.  Be a little bit crazier than you think it’s okay to be.  Because you deserve it.  You work hard and you should not feel bad about having some fun.
Love, Your Future Self

Dear 22 year old self,
Stop pushing everyone away.  I know it’s hard and you think that you’re going through everything alone, but you’re not.  Let your friends set you up if they want.  Say yes to a crazy offering from a boy that you might not see yourself with.  Ditch your friends for a boy you really like.  Only once.  And then really make it up to them.  Friendships aren’t going to get any easier and one of your best friends is going to break your heart, but you’ll survive.  You will grow and learn from this.  And it will be a fantastic life experience.  Remember to breathe.  Remember to have fun.  You’re only young once.
Love, Your Future Self

Dear 30 year old self,
You didn’t think you’d make it here, but you did – Congratulations!!  It’s been rough.  Things haven’t worked out the way you planned, but you’re where you are supposed to be.  You’re going to make a difference.  It might not have happened yet, or you might not be aware of it yet, but it’s going to happen.  Don’t worry about all the extra stuff.  Make enough money to pay your bills and have some fun and spend time with your friends.  You’re happier when you’re not by yourself (even if you crave that alone time).  You are a beautiful woman and you have so much to offer.  Don’t ever forget it!
Love, Your 25 year old self

****

25 years old.  It’s a little numbing.  I know it doesn’t seem like much and I know I have so much more to learn, but it feels like so much more than it should be.  There are days when I feel like such an old lady.  But I can’t believe that I am 25.  There are kids that would think I’m “old.”

It’s been a crazy ride so far and I have a lot to learn, but I will figure it out.  And by the time I reach 30, I will be right where I’m supposed to be!

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