I was going to write about my New Year’s Resolutions today, but I still have some time to tweak those and make them more real before I write them down – and they might be a little ambitious, so I might be avoiding them a little bit. I decided not to write the post today because I want to write about something so much better. The best of friends.
If you didn’t know, I started reading MWF Seeking BFF (the blog) a while back and I so enjoy going to it and reading Rachel Bertsche’s thoughts and research on friendship. On December 20, MWF Seeking BFF (the book) came out. It chronicled Bertsche’s year of friending and I devoured it, and I loved it! One of the things that she talks about is “lifers” or those friends that are your lifers (aka you’ve known them almost your entire life or those people that might become lifers). For me, to become a lifer, you need to go through at least one significant life change together and live through it and keep in at least semi-regular contact.
I am lucky to have almost a whole handful of lifers. One of my lifers is my sister, Susan. I always miss seeing her and I always love to be able to spend time with her. It makes me so happy to know that regardless of what happens with my other lifers, I will always have the familial bond with Susan. She will always be my sister and being able to call her my friend is just an added bonus.
I have what I’d like to consider two lifers from high school. And two more lifers from college. None of them live near me, the closest being two hours away and an extremely inconvenient winter drive, two being with 4-6 hours drive and one being no closer than a plane ride. My two lifers from high school fall in two different categories. My lifers from college fall in a separate category.
My one lifer from high school, Sarah, is currently out of town and given that she knows the economy where she is is better probably won’t be returning any time soon. We don’t chat on the phone much. We exchange sporadic text messages and facebook comments and messages. But when we get back together – if she happens to be here or I happen to be where she is (very rare), we pick up where we were and have a great time. Sarah is always up for an adventure and I know if I propose something doable, she’ll do it with me 🙂 She is in town for the holidays and I am so glad to have been able to do lunch with her yesterday and we have plans to see each other again before she leaves again on Friday.
My other life from high school, Kristen, is like a sister to me. We call each other sister and I love her like family. She is the one that is currently a plan ride away in Texas – almost a whole different world. We don’t talk often, mostly because of my inability to be good at keeping in touch with people and awkwardness on the phone. But when we do, I just love it. Today, I had a good hour and 45 minute conversation with her on the phone. It was so great to chat with her and I’m so glad that I was able to catch up with her. Although I couldn’t see her this holiday season, I’m glad we had this catch up time (and she is the one that tipped the scales and really made me think about how lucky I am).
My lifers from college are Steph and Shauna. With Steph having moved to Maryland, the dynamics of our relationship have changed a little bit, but not much. By change, I mean that we are not seeing each other as much as we used to because she’s further away. And that’s okay. I don’t see Shauna much either, although she is the closest of my lifers being only a two and a half hour drive away, but a drive that can be treacherous in the deadly winter we sometimes get here in New York. I talk to both of these girls on average once a week for a varying length of time. I don’t know where I’d be without these two.
Although I’ve known each of my lifers for a different amount of time, I don’t know where I’d be without them. We’ve been through some major changes together and I love that I can count on them for just about anything. I am a very lucky girl to be able to count a whole five people on that hand.
I’m a little hesitant to post this because I have a number of friends that would fall just under lifer status at this point (and a few of them are quickly approaching it).
I am lucky that in the next week I will be seeing my college lifers, two of those quickly approaching best friends (Erin and Nicole) and my very best local friend, a different Sarah.
I can’t complain. I am a lucky girl.
Who do you consider your lifers? Were you able to spend time with them during this holiday season? Do you have a “hard time” putting this label on someone or feel guilty about labeling certain people as such and not others? Tomorrow, please look forward to a review of the book or my resolutions. On Friday, please look forward to a set of pictures going up and whichever post I don’t complete tomorrow (the review of the book or my resolutions)