So, here I am…almost done with my second blog challenge. A blog that has put me into telling more about myself on the internet than I probably ever would have. I guess we’ll see how it goes – I haven’t gotten a ton of comments and such, but that’s okay. This blog (or so I say) is really more for me. So, today, I have to talk about how I have changed over the past two years. And this is a big one. Because the past two years have been difficult years for me.
Two years ago today, I was back home again after having graduated from Niagara University – a place that I didn’t want to leave, but was happy to have had at such a pivotal time in my life. Since then, I have struggled. A lot.
I have tried to find a teaching job, unsuccessfully.
I have tired to find another way to make money (while still being able to sub), unsuccessfully.
I have tried to become the person that I saw myself blossoming into while at Niagara, unsuccessfully.
But I have grown so much. I have learned how to be the person that I need to be at any given moment.
I have been a substitute teacher to many, many different children – creating bonds with them and being able to feel validated in my profession through my experiences with them.
I have been validated in my job choice. I have had people tell me that I am an excellent teacher. I have had kids come to me when they are sad and give me hugs and say hello to me when they see me outside of school. It has been breathtakingly fun.
I have questioned my job choice and known that I could never do anything else.
I have followed my dreams.
I have rekindled a friendship, kept friendships going and been the best friend that I know how to be.
I have felt lonelier than I have in a very long time.
I have found new hobbies.
I have written a book.
I have become a different person. A person that is sad. A person that is happy. A person that is still trying to figure out life. I stumble, I fall, I get back up. I live. And I do the best I can with what I have been given.
My life has changed in the past two years. I have moved back home and it has been hard. It will change again as well. Now, we will have to see how it goes. I will get where I need to be. If the past two years have taught me anything, they have taught me that I have the audacity and passion to do what I want to do. I just need the world to cooperate with me. And the past 24 years have taught me that you can’t rush the world to do what you want. It will happen when it is supposed to.
How have you changed in the past two years? Do you struggle? Do you find yourself happier or sadder? Do you expect to change more?