Bad Attitude Time Out

Yesterday, I updated my facebook status, telling my facebook friends that I needed a time out.  I was in a HORRIBLE mood yesterday – absolutely horrible.  And I badly needed a time out.

The reason for my bad mood is two, maybe even three, fold.

First, yesterday was my dad’s 50th birthday.  Sunday night, his girlfriend threw him a surprise dinner.  I told my mom that I would be happy to pay for my dinner and my younger brothers (since I understood that they didn’t really have any money and with the holidays she didn’t have any extra), but that I wasn’t going to pay for my older brother (who is collecting the maximum amount of money on unemployment and not paying rent or car insurance or anything).  When I got to the restaurant (after getting lost, since I am sooooo directionally challenged) I asked my older brother what we were going to do.  He said that my mom had told him that I was paying for everything.  The bill came to $130 with tip – partially because my brother had gotten two pitchers of beer at 12.50 each.  I did receive $7 from one of the guys that had been drinking the beer, but still.  I was pissed.  I was very angry and very upset.

Yesterday, I complained about it and then asked my brother if he was going to pay for his dinner (including the beer) and he said when he had funds freed up.  I’m pretty sure that he hasn’t gotten any Christmas presents (and mine weren’t expensive, but I bought them) and he doesn’t have to pay rent OR car insurance (I’m not paying rent right now, but am paying car insurance, and my mom owes me money).  The reason he didn’t have the money to pay me for his dinner is because he had to pay for the cable bill (which wasn’t quite $200).  Why is it that I was able to pay for $130 dinner bill and not sweat it too much – I mean I can’t do it constantly, but it was okay – but he can’t even pay for his portion of it.  And he knew how much it was.

I know I should be grateful that I am able to help out my family.  That I should be happy that I am doing the right thing.  But my older brother makes it so hard to feel good about it.

In addition to being angry about that, I am totally PMS-ing.

So, in addition to putting myself into a time out, I said that I was waiting for Wednesday, and I am.

I have loved being in the school and it’s really great, but subbing takes a lot out of you.  So even though I only subbed half of October and November (and the extended sub for all of December), I am exhausted.  Regular subbing is so strenous because you never know what to expect that I’ve been trying to catch up.  So, this break – which begins after school on Wednesday will be VERY welcomed!

Plus, on Wednesday, I will find out whether or not Teach for America is going to offer me a position for the next school year.  More about that tomorrow.

The good news is, I will be dog sitting over this break, so I will be able to be out of the house as much as I want to be.  It will be extremely nice to have some place to “escape” to.  I am not meant to be at home right now – more about this tomorrow in my Teach for America blog.

Have you ever given yourself a time out because you’ve had a bad attitude?  Do you have any advice for me?  Any money worries/woes for you during this holiday season (that can so often become so expensive)?

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