It’s All About Me

I’ve talked about the fact that I want a boyfriend.  I’ve also talked about the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend.  Recently, a lot of my friends have been telling me that they want to introduce me to guys and get me to go on dates/have a relationship with specific people.

It is flattering that people want to hook me up with others.  It’s nice to know that people think that I am good enough to be hooked up with their friends/people that they know.

But.  It scares me.

I am in a phase of my life where I need to still figure out who I am.  It is hard to start a relationship when you are living with your mother and don’t really have your own space.  It is hard to start a relationship when you have no idea what you are doing with your life and where you are going to be in a year.  This is the excuse that I always give my friends when I am talking to them about meeting these people.

The truth is that I want a boyfriend.  I want to have relationships and get my heart broken and love and have fun.

But.  And this is the bigger but.  I feel like when my friends are introducing me to these people, they are expecting me to get into real relationships with them.  They are always saying what a great girlfriend I would make.  But I don’t know if at this stage in my life I’m ready for a serious boyfriend.

I need to date around and figure out what I want out of a guy. 

I also don’t want to lose myself in a relationship with someone else.  I can easily see this happening to me, and I don’t want that to occur.

So, I keep myself at a distance and come up with excuses to not go on dates – I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money, I need to do me.

It’s important to do me; but part of me is going to (hopefully and eventually) include a relationship with a great guy.

How do you deal with friends that try to hook you up with someone?  Do you feel more pressure for it to work out because you don’t want it to be awkward for anyone?  Or do you just let it roll off your back thinking that your friend won’t care if you end up having a relationship with the person or not?


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