Frustration

I am writing here right now because I am frustrated.  I can’t seem to get the words that I want my story to be about down on paper.  I am way ahead – according to NaNo requirements – on my word count, but am on target for my word count goal (except I haven’t done my writing yet today, so I still have 5,000 words to write).

But my story isn’t coming out the way it was supposed to.  I feel like I have just written a 25,000 word prologue.  That is clearly insane.  And now, I know what I want to happen.  I know where I need to be after my next 5,000 words, but I don’t know if I’m going to get there.

I think that I am scared that my writing isn’t good enough for this story.  The story that I want to write is one that I think could be really, really good; but I think that I’m scared that it won’t be good once I get it down.  I’m scared that it isn’t going to be relatable and that it’s not going to seem realistic.  I’m scared that it will be complete rubbish.

And because of all this, I think that I’m scared to write the story.  As I said, I have quite the high word count, I am actually halfway to my NaNo goal requirement, and it’s only November 6th.  On the other hand, when I revise, I think that a lot of what I just wrote is going in the garbage.  It’s not necessary to the story, but as soon as I started writing it, I couldn’t tear myself away.

So, I guess that it’s time to get on to my story.  It’s time to conquer my fear.  To try and get the words down on paper, even if they make no sense at all.  (and as a side note, I just pushed “ctrl + s” to save this because of how often I hit save on my word document to save my story…gah!)

Do you write?  Do you ever get stuck?  Are you afraid that it won’t be good enough?

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