Weight, Weight, Weight

I wanted to have a nice play on words with wait and weight, but that’s not happening today – so this is all you get.

I have always been a little obsessed with weight.  Always.  Well, once I stopped being the tiny person that I always was.  I never got so obsessed that it turned into a bad thing (ie. an eating disorder).  But I have always been obsessed with weight.  And it is back in full force.

The thing is, it’s not necessarily weight.  It’s how I look.  How I feel.  If I look as good as everyone else.  As tiny as I want to be.

I am short.  I always have been.  I can’t change it now, so I always will be.  I am not extremely short – measuring up at just under 5′ 3″.  And up until I left for college (and even my first semester away), I was at a very respectful weight and had no problems.  Now that I am out of college, I am having some issues.  I want to lose the weight I put on.  I want to be fit again.  I want to look cute (and not in the little kid way) again.  I just don’t want to feel so horrible.

So, I will be starting a workout regimen with my long term sub job.  Hopefully this will keep the stress at bay, while also getting me back into shape.  And hopefully, by the time that next school year rolls around, I will be in better shape and feel better about myself.

What brings all this on?  I saw an old friend of my sister’s at a church event tonight.  My first thought was – wow, she’s gained a lot of weight.  Is this is a good thing?  No, probably not.  But like I openly admitted at the beginning of this post.  I’m obsessed with weight.

And when I see people like that, I think to myself.  I hope that I don’t look like that.  Because I have also put on a lot of weight – and as you now know, I have a small frame.  I am a small person.  Putting on the amount of weight I have is bound to show (even if people tell me that I look great).

It’s time to kick my butt back into gear and get back into shape.  Start eating right (hopefully) and working out again.  It’s time to make myself happy again, and I know I won’t be able to do that without losing weight.  Then, we’ll deal with keeping it off.

Have you ever successfully lost and kept weight off?  Have you ever needed to and didn’t know how to?  What is your weight loss strategy?  Do you find yourself obsessed with weight?  With working out?  How do you know that you’re in good shape?


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