I am sometimes convinced that I have depression. That or I am unable to be happy when those around me are sad or upset or cranky. I don’t know if this means that I am sensitive or if it means that there is something wrong with me – and not in a bad way.
I know that I deserve to be happy. I know that I can be happy. It doesn’t take much to make me happy at all. I have a pretty good life. And it is just getting better. But I have such a hard time being happy when I know that my friends are not happy. Especially when I don’t have an outlet. I need to know that my friends are happy because then I can talk to them about my happiness without feeling guilty that I am happy and they aren’t. I mean, what have I done to deserve happiness? Why are they sad instead of me?
So, every now and then – a sadness creeps into my soul. Every now and then, I get pretty upset that things aren’t perfect and things aren’t working out the way that I think they should. Every now and then, I fall into a pit and find it hard to climb out of it. Every now and then, I need to be alone to brood because I don’t want to bring anyone down with my sadness. It actually reminds me of the the song “Spirit of a Storm” by Kenny Chesney. It is one of my absolutely favorite songs and I think it really applies to this situation. You can listen to the song or look up the lyrics if you’d like to.
Don’t worry. I am fine. And I have ways to deal with my stress. I work out – and am going to actually start working out regularly when I get back home. I write. I read. I listen to music. I rant to my friends. I work through things in my head (this might not be the healthiest way). I plan things. I think really mean things, but never say them out loud. Sometimes, I write them down and then delete them; thankful to have just gotten it out of my system.
And, I bounce back. I become happy again. I find something worth smiling about. I remember how blessed I am. I am a happy, optimistic person. And I hate the times when I am down in the dumps and when I’m cranky. I have so much in life to celebrate and it isn’t fair for me to act like I don’t have the world at my fingertips. Because I do. It’s okay to be sad…as long as you bounce back quick and don’t let it control you and pull you under for too long.
How do you deal with sadness? What do you do to regain happiness? How well does it work for you?